Do you feel like you have no more room for anything or anyone?
Are you feeling overwhelmed with life and it’s making you feel anxious?
Are you able to protect the space around you, both mentally and physically?
You are NOT failing.
Sometimes we have to acknowledge that we don’t actually have the capacity to take on anything else. We don’t have physical space, we don’t have the time, we don’t have the energy. YOU ARE NOT FAILING!
It is really important to be able to recognise when we need to step away from other people’s stuff. It doesn’t have to be a monumental leap, never to return again but a step back, creating some space around yourself so that you can continue working on your stuff and making sure that you are okay.
Lose the “guilt conversation.”
When I talk to clients, particularly women, they get into the whole “guilt conversation” in their head – not wanting to let people down, wanting to be available for family and friends but at the same time recognising they don’t have the capacity to help at that moment in time.
So how do you step back and manage this with kindness?
- Be clear with people – explain to them that at the moment you have a lot on yourself, maybe direct them to another friend or family member.
- Before you commit to something, ask yourself “will this serve me well or add to the overwhelm?” What I mean by does this serve me well, is – am I okay to do this/commit to this right now. It’s not about being self serving!
- Give yourself time to think before you say yes to something – “can I call you back when I’ve checked everyone’s diaries?” “I need to check with X before I can let you know.”
- Don’t instantly respond to text messages whether it’s an invite or a request for some help. Take your time to work out if you have the space and time to commit to something.
Protecting your physical and mental space is a massive part of self-care. If you can live your life NOT filled to the brim with other people’s stuff, if you monitor your capacity to take on other people’s problems, only saying “yes” when you have the space and the time, you will feel lighter and less overwhelmed with life in general and that has to be a good thing doesn’t it.
