We’ve all been in that situation when we are aware a friend, a family member is struggling and we really want to be able to help but we don’t know how?
We also know that sometimes we can’t help and we have to accept that too. It might be that the person needs to work through some stuff, it might be that by helping them it’s more “rescuing them” than actual help.
Doing what someone needs, not what we think they need.
Working out what to do for the best or not, can be tricky but if we take time to stop and check in with ourselves that we are not just charging and not thinking about what they want and not what we think they need, means we can offer good support.
Feeling overwhelmed.
Sometimes the situation lends itself to offering up purely practical help. Often when people are struggling, they find it difficult when someone asks them the question “what can I do to help?” because they don’t actually know. They are feeling like a rabbit caught between the headlights, overwhelmed or maybe poorly and they just can’t think straight.
So what can you do?
Below are some ideas of practical things you can either offer to do or even just go ahead and do if you know the individual well enough.
Obviously, these won’t apply to everyone but add your own things to the list. Think purely practical. What would you like someone to do for you if or when you have been in this situation – what has been that lifesaving thing?
Practical help.
- Walk their dog.
- Do some basic food shopping.
- Turn up with easy to heat up meals.
- Take paper plates and cups to your friend who has just had a baby (not the most environmentally friendly but as a one off, if they’re really struggling it can help!)
- Change their bed sheets.
- Bung a wash on.
- Run the hoover around.
- Organise an online shop for them.
- Give them a lift to a doctor’s appointment.
- Book a manicure or something you know is a treat that they’d appreciate.
- Drop around a pile of 2nd hand books.
- Pop in, make a cuppa and have a chat but keep it short and manageable.
- Listen. Don’t offer solutions, just listen.
