In a world so many are striving to be perfect, let’s be authentic! But what does it mean to be authentic? Well, the definition of authentic is “not false or copied; genuine; real.”
To me, being authentic sounds a lot more achievable than being perfect. It also sounds a lot more honest.
When working with clients on being real, being authentic, we focus on what their values are – the things that really make them tick. I explain value has something that you have to have in your life, something that you adhere to in order for you to be you. One of my values would be honesty. I’m an honest person, but also someone who respects people and likes to treat people with kindness. I expect people around me to treat me with the same respect and honesty.
Other values that crop up regularly with clients include, loyalty, passion, integrity and dignity to name but a few. We work together on various exercises to identify their values and those that are being ‘authentic’ or ‘real’ tend to find that they are living by most of their values.
Sometimes our values are tested, particularly when we are younger and perhaps not brave enough to stand up for what we believe in. As we get older and get more tuned into ourselves, we are able to stand up for ourselves and therefore be more authentic.
I encourage my clients to work on this rather than focusing on what it is they think they want or need for this elusive ‘perfect life’. We find that over time they are able to let go of their need to be constantly searching for something else or comparing themselves to others, which quite frankly is exhausting.
3 ways to help you be more authentic
- Re-visit your values.
We all change as we get older. What you might have valued in your twenties is likely to be very different from where you are now. What do you value? What qualities do you need in your life to be the best version of you? Write a list of your values, rate them on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being totally true to that value. Anything under 6 is something that needs addressing, as you’re not paying enough attention to it.
- Are there changes you need to make? Are they realistic?
Is it something you want to do or are you under pressure from someone else? Start with small changes, things that are important to you – it can be walking 10 minutes a day to improve your health rather than pushing yourself to join a gym that you never attend. It can be cutting down on unhealthy snacks rather than cutting out things that you know you’ll eat the minute the pressure is on. Being realistic helps you to be authentic.
- Finally, stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
You have no idea about the journey anyone else is on or what is really going on in their life. Take a break from social media if you’re finding yourself worrying about what others are doing or have done? Ask yourself ‘do I really know what is going on for them?’ – the answer is likely to be no. Focus on you, what you you need to live the best life you can.
Learning how to be authentic is the best gift you can give yourself. There will be people that cannot handle it, there will be people who embrace it, neither of which matter – the most important thing is you can look at yourself and know that you are being you.
