Over the weekend, I found myself becoming more and more wound up by the actions of others to the point that I could feel the anxiety sitting firmly at the base of my throat, ready to bubble over and let out a stream of expletives at the next “cockwomble” that appeared to be flouting the lockdown rules!
As I watched footage of people doing the conga or with arms wrapped around another singing “We’ll meet again” during the VE Day celebrations, I wanted to shout at them “it’s bloody unlikely at this rate if you still can’t social distance you morons!”
You’ll be pleased to know I didn’t.
The weekend brought sunshine and a whole host of people who were clearly from out of the area to the beach near us and were to be seen proclaiming the loveliness of it all whilst plonking themselves on the sand with their picnics while local people scuttled around them trying to keep 2 meters away as they exercised or walked their dogs. That was NOT in the guidelines.
On Sunday night Boris addressed the nation and we all know how that went? I came away feeling more angry and more disillusioned with the way our government has handled this and I knew I would get several phone calls from my more vulnerable clients who would find his announcement frightening and confusing and it would just add to their heightened state of anxiety.
I felt despair. I want to see my family and my friends too. I want to meet up and go for coffee or a walk, give my Dad a hug, go and visit my friends who need some support and some company – particularly those who are on their own BUT I haven’t and I won’t. I ranted at my husband, I scoured the news websites hoping to find some sanity amongst all of this and there was very little.
There does appear to be more clarity today (well some bits anyway) but I have decided that in order to protect myself and those around me (also my poor husband who was looking positively frightened by my outbursts yesterday) I am going to work on the things I CAN affect and they are;
- I will continue to work from home coaching via Skype & Facetime
- I will continue to walk Barney early in the morning as it sets me up for the day both mentally & physically.
- I will be organised so that I shop once a week for my food etc. to avoid going out to more crowded places unnecessarily.
- I will only visit my Dad at a distance (he lives locally) to drop off food so that he still doesn’t have to go to a supermarket.
- I’m going to increase my exercise/walking but I am going to make a conscious decision to avoid more crowded places if I can so that I don’t wind myself up and that might mean walking at different times of day/evening.
- I will continue to use the time I have to get things done around the house but not beat myself up if they don’t all get done.
- I’m going to enjoy every minute (probably not every minute) of having my husband at home as usually he is away working and make the most of this time together.
- Finally, I am going to keep reminding myself that there are so many frontline workers who have risked their health and their lives to keep me safe so I need to ‘put my big girl pants on’ and get on with it and be thankful for all that they have done and continue to do.
We all need to find ways to cope with this new normal, there will be periods of adjustment and there will be some dark days I’m sure, but there is light at the end of the tunnel even if the tunnel feels like it’s a very long one right now. If we concentrate on what we can each affect, we can make a positive difference and right now, that is all we can do.
Stay safe, stay calm and be kind.
