Forget the glossy magazine notion of a ‘tribe’. I’m talking about the real deal – the ones or one, who weave through the tapestry of your everyday life. They’re the laughter that erupts when you need it most, the ears that absorb your woes without judgment, the hands that extend with steady practicality when the world wobbles. These aren’t just acquaintances; they’re the lifeblood of your journey, the ones who make the daily grind a little less… grindy.
You do not have to have a tribe to find your people.
For those who read my blogs regularly, you will know I struggled for a long time wishing to ‘find my tribe’ only to realise that wasn’t me! I’m not a group type of person, I have always been an individual who likes their own company and has instead, some great close friends. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A TRIBE!
I like one-on-one time.
I also realised that ‘your people’ don’t necessarily need to be close friends, they can be people who for whatever reason add value to your life. I know that sounds a bit calculated but let me give you some examples.
Who are your friends?
Obviously, there are the go-tos – those friends who you literally go to when something wonderful happens. You know they will celebrate your success and cheer you on. Likewise, there will be the ones who you can talk to about anything, who will dish out the right amount of tea and sympathy.
BUT… here’s the thing, they aren’t necessarily the same people.
What roles do your friends play?
This is what I mean about identifying your people. Be VERY sure about the role of each person/friend in your life. Yes, sometimes their roles will overlap but it doesn’t make them rubbish friends or make you a picky friend if they can’t satisfy every need.
I have a friend who is brilliant for going on a road trip with. She takes great joy in exploring the architecture and surroundings – a day out with her is fabulous but I would never talk to her about a problem, it’s just not her thing. I’ve learned to spend time with her doing something I know she’s great at and we can both enjoy – win, win.
Play to people’s strengths.
Understanding people’s strengths, your needs and then matching them up is a real game changer. It makes us less frustrated, both parties feel useful, heard and understood.
What do you think you can offer as somebody’s ‘person’? Are you the problem solver, the practical friend, the clown? We don’t have to be everything to everybody.
Take time to identify your people and enjoy them for who they are.
