“You don’t look 54” was the way a conversation at the weekend started for me which then led to a discussion about “what does 54 actually look like?” The conclusion we came to was that there is no definitive image that we can now say represents our age.
These days we have some fantastic role models of “older” ladies, women are seemingly coming into their own later in life, appearing to care less about fitting in and caring more about the quality of their life so why does ageing still come up in my coaching sessions on a regular basis?
As a practical Life coach, I coach both men and women and I think it is fair to say that I rarely have a conversation about age with my male clients. We might discuss related issues such as career change, redundancy and how to deal with that but NOT what they look like. Obviously, there is the occasional male client who is struggling with getting older, less fit maybe, but for me, it has only been occasionally.
What is interesting is that some of the subject matter might change for individual clients, but that overall, most of my clients who are dealing with getting older and all that it brings, struggle with very similar issues.
So how do we change our thought patterns and our beliefs to embrace (or at least manage) getting older?
A few of the things that I’ve worked on with clients that can help..…
- Limit your time on social media – stop comparing yourself to friends and even people you don’t know. You have no idea how “real” the life that they are portraying online is and therefore have no idea of the possible struggles they too are contending with. You also don’t know how much time they’ve spent photoshopping their pictures!
- Engage with other positive people. Search out people who are of a similar age that are embracing their lives – the ones who are getting out there and making the most of what they have. Again, if you spend enough time around positivity, it will have a knock-on effect on you. Avoid the “woe is me” brigade – you don’t need to add to any negativity you are feeling, that’s for sure.
- Maybe it’s time for some personal re-evaluation? Do you need to feel healthier, fitter to feel better? Maybe invest in a personal trainer or research a class that you could join that would not only get you out but meeting others?
- Perhaps it’s time for a wardrobe overhaul? It might seem like a frivolous expense, but Style Coaches/Image consultants can make a HUGE difference to how you are feeling about yourself. I have clients who feel that their image consultancy session has saved them literally hundreds of pounds and left them feeling much more positive about their overall look.
- Working with a Life Coach and looking at how you want your life to be right now, having a positive and practical action plan to empower you can also be something to add to your tool kit of life!
Embracing getting older.
I have worked with women that wholeheartedly embrace getting older and the empowerment that they feel it brings them. They have done a lot of self-work and can appreciate the journey they have travelled and be grateful for the experiences along the way.
I asked one of these clients, how she had maintained this attitude of positivity and her response was as follows;
“I don’t claim to have it all sorted, I too have days where I look in the mirror and don’t recognise the woman staring back at me, but I choose to confront those feelings and be grateful that I actually have the opportunity to stand and look in the mirror as so many of my family and friends will never be fortunate enough to experience ageing.”
A sobering thought but also so true.
Ageing is inevitable.
Ageing is inevitable and something those of us lucky to be able to experience have a choice – we can fight it all the way OR we can decide to embrace it the best we can and appreciate and be thankful for the amazing body that has got us this far, every wrinkle/laughter line that tells a story, every scar every lump and bump that shows we have lived and continue to do so. Some days it won’t be easy, ask for help if you’re struggling – it is one of the experiences we will all share, the good bits and the bad.
